Despair
by darke wulf
Summary: Kane hits rock bottom after losing the Tag Team Titles and his brother's partnership at Backlash. Warning - deals with suicide


Standard Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used in this story (and how much more enjoyable my life would be if I did). They are owned by the WWF. I am making no money from this little piece of drivel. There is no need for a lawsuit.  
  
  
  
  
Despair  
  
Kane groaned when he inadvertently jostled his injured arm as he searched for the card-key to his hotel room. The pain, which prior to Backlash had been relatively confined to his elbow, had now spread to engulf his entire arm from wrist to shoulder.  
  
The worst of it, however, was not in his arm but in his heart. Yet again, he had managed to keep a title for only a matter of days before having it taken from him. Just once in his career he would like to be a Champion for at least a month before returning to his usual loser status. Granted, this hadn't been as bad as his single day reign as WWF Champion, but it was close. Even worse was the fact that his brother, the Undertaker, blamed him for their loss.   
  
Kane sighed as he made his way into the room and dropped into one of the overstuffed chairs, throwing his gym bag down beside him and cradling his left arm in his lap. Once again in his mind, he ran through the earlier conversation that he had had with the Undertaker  
  
*************************************************  
  
The Undertaker had watched on silently as Kane's elbow had been treated after their match. When the trainer had finally finished his work he gave Kane a bottle of prescription pain pills to take once every six hours. After he had left an uneasy silence descended upon the room. Finally, the Undertaker drew a deep breath and said, "This isn't working out, Kane."  
  
"Huh?" Kane had asked, tilting his head to the side. He was starting to become groggy from the medication the trainer had given him earlier, and wasn't sure what Taker was talking about.  
  
"This whole team thing with you and me," the Undertaker had elaborated, "it just isn't working."  
  
"Because we lost tonight?" Kane had questioned, having a good idea where his brother was going with this.   
  
"That, and because we've been doing nothing but get our asses kicked since we got together!" the Undertaker roared, his temper flaring as his pent up frustration finally was released, "first it was Haku and Rikishi, then Edge and Christian, then HHH and the Big Show, and now HHH and Austin. Yeah, we've had a couple wins here and there, but dammit Kane, I've gotten my ass kicked more in the last couple of months than I have during the rest of my whole fucking career!"  
  
"I see," Kane had said simply, recognizing that in the mood the Undertaker was in nothing he said would have any effect.  
  
"And now we can't even manage to hold on to the Tag Team Titles for an entire week!" Taker had continued, letting all of his anger out in a rush of words. "You might be used to getting titles and losing them the next day, but I've never had such a fucking short title reign. I just can't deal with this anymore, Kane. You're bringing me down, and brother or not, I can't keep making you look good at the expense of my own career!"  
  
"I understand," Kane had told Taker softly. In truth, he had expected this for some time. He and his brother had never been able to stay a team for long. Sooner or later one of them got sick of it and called the whole thing off. More times than not, it had been the Undertaker who had decided to leave...though on more than one of those occasions Kane had managed to get in the first blows when they had resumed their feud.  
  
And, as he had every other time he had been left on his own, Kane felt a small portion of himself die as the Undertaker stormed out of the trainer's room. Kane found himself wondering just how many more betrayals and desertions he could take.  
  
*************************************************  
  
Kane didn't know why he let his brother's desire to end their partnership bother him so much. //You would think you would be used to being deserted by now, // Kane thought wryly to himself. Everyone wound up leaving him. His mother and the man he had believed for years to be his father, his brother, his real father, his brother, X-Pac, his brother, Tori, his brother...Kane smiled a grim smile and thought to himself // I'm beginning to see a pattern here. //  
  
Then the pain in his arm flared up, and though it had only been about four hours since he last took his pain medication, Kane reached into his gym bag for the pills. Taking out the full bottle, he poured three of the pills into his hand. Suddenly a thought hit him, and he stared at the bottle for several minutes.  
  
// Why not end it all? // he asked himself. All the betrayals, the despair and loneliness...he could free himself from all of it. It's not like he would be missed. His brother had been his last chance for friendship...for a family...and now there was no one. Nothing to stop him...  
  
Taking his water bottle out of his bag, Kane emptied a third of the pills into his hand and swallowed them, grimacing slightly as one caught in his throat. He took another drink of water to wash it down, then repeated the process two more times.  
  
*************************************************  
  
The next morning, the Undertaker knocked on Kane's door. He had thought about how he had acted after losing at Backlash the previous night, and he knew that he owed Kane an apology. It wasn't Kane's fault that his elbow had been injured, or that the idiot referee hadn't seen Taker tag into the match. And even if it had been, rubbing Kane's tendency for short title runs in his face and saying that Kane had been bringing Taker down had been uncalled for. It hadn't been fair of the Undertaker to take his frustrations out on his brother...his family. In truth, the Undertaker liked having his little brother at his side, backing him up with his strength and support. It just felt right.  
  
When there was no answer from Kane the Undertaker became somewhat concerned. It was almost 11:30am...Kane was always up by now, even when he was injured. And Kane had taken a nasty shot to the head when HHH had thrown him into the ring post. He had seemed alright last night, but maybe it had been more serious than the Undertaker had thought. Kane wouldn't have complained about it, no matter how much it had hurt.  
  
Deciding that it was better to be safe than sorry, the Undertaker returned to the main desk of the hotel and asked to be let into Kane's room. After explaining the situation to the manager, she agreed to let him check on his brother, and together they went back up to Kane's room. Pulling out her master keys, the manager unlocked the door to Kane's room and opened it, moving aside so that the Undertaker could enter the room.  
  
Not seeing Kane at first, the Undertaker began to move towards the bedroom, stopping as he saw Kane's head over the back of one of the overstuffed chairs in the room.  
  
// He must have not been able to sleep last night, // the Undertaker thought to himself as he moved towards where his brother sat. No wonder he hasn't gotten up yet, who knows how little sleep he's gotten. Taker needed to reassure himself that his brother was not seriously injured, however, so he moved up beside Kane and shook his brother's shoulder. "Come on, Kane," he said, "wake up. You and me need to talk."  
  
It was then that the Undertaker noticed the empty bottle of pain pills in his brother's lap and the fact that Kane's chest was motionless.  



End file.
